happy week..

hmm... this week is pretty satisfiying except for a couple of things that messed it up..

beginning of this week, i had a maths test. before i went for the test, i was thinking if i should just get a MC. cos i know i wun be able to pass it anyway. true enough, i did pretty badly.. but was better than my expected score, Big Fat Zero!! oh ya.. don't think the cohort did well too... self consoling.. LOL

SQUASH!!!!!
for my whole squash life, i've never played so badly!
to define badly, i was thrashed 9-0.
this is so unbelieveable.
i may not be the best, but i definitely do not deserve 0!!
eh hello! wake up!!
i should be more focus!!!!!!
1 more defeating match, i'm gonna say bye to squash.
why is everyone improving and i'm not?
why is everyone able to thrash me effortlessly when it is not likely in the past?
why is this happening?!!?!?

alright, enough of the unhappy and saddening stuffs..
let me tell share some happiness..

this week in particular...
i did not slack at all!
and i meant 'did not'.
my god.. i'm admiring myself more and more each day.. LOL
i did my tutorials, i stayed awake during lectures.
so unlike me. but i guess its time i wake up and move on.
i love this kinda life.
i sense a big accomplishment at the end of the day.

so, i shall not let this fighting spirit dampen..
NO more mahjong until after block tests.
NO more imcomplete tutorials, assignments.
NO more 9-0 during matches.

-my future is in my hands

oops.. forgot about the s.o.x's first dinner outing..
let me rate upon a scale of 10.
i give it 6?? or perhaps 7 if i'm lenient.. muahahahas..
reason being not all turned up.
and dinner took place at a pathetic fast food outlet. MAC!!!
my god. we had mac for dinner. but starbucks for supper...
went to starbucks and slack for hours..
and i complained for hours..
thank god they are good listeners..
otherwise they should have shut me up..
HAHA.

post v'day

anyone pls save me....
i'm not trying to complain nor grumble.. i jus need to let it out...
life aint kind on me.. going thru a pretty tough patches now..
tired of it.. i cant possibly live this way this year..
i will collapse..

feeling really unhappy this whole week.. all shld i say this whole mth.. the amt of emotions accumulated cldnt be let out...until...i finally fall sick..
it might not be a bad thing to fall sick.. at least i get to rest.. but on the other hand, i'm worrying abt the sch workload.. missing out on the lectures and tutorials..

sch has been a wonderful place for me.. i love sch for its everything.. but one thing i hated most now is squash.. i know this is not the right place to tok abt this.. but i cant hold it any longer..
once i used to have great passion for squash.. loving n enjoying the game as much as i cld.. but now, everything seems to change..
i no longer whole the great passion for squash.. i dread the thrice a week training session.. i hate the monotonous training style.. most of all.. i hate it when i'm below performing.. being in the sch team may sound glory.. however the underlying hardwork is always not shown.. now, the squash court is a hell place to me..
somehow.. i'm having affinity for tennis instead..
well.. i totally had no idea when will my trainings stop..
they probably stop it asap before i totally feel nth for squash..

apart from squash.. another thing tat is taking away all my smiles n laughters---tests tests tests n more tests.. whether or not did i study for it.. the results simply dun show.. i promise myself tat i wun see F's this yr.. and the promise is broken.. my first F found its way during my chem test.. a low F somemore..

as for the econs lect test tat was held this monday.. it's a total screwed up paper.. apparently i studied and know the ans to the qn.. i wasnt given enuf time to complete it.. resulting in 18 marks gone.. literally gone cos when u nv write anything, theres no way teachers can reward mark.. so yup.. gonna flunk tat paper as well..

i wonder if i can make it for A's.. the journey doesnt look optimistic.. or perhaps i'm really drained..

where are all my happy times.. seriously.. onli sox.. onli in front of sox.. i can reveal my true self.. when i'm unhappy, i dun have to put on a smile for them.. tats wat i incapable of in mjc.. i find this tiring..
also, time is another killer.. it is always running out on me.. i simply have no time for everything.. no time for him.. no time for them.. no time for myself..

all i yearn now is a day at sentosa.. i terribly miss the sun..the sand..the water..

-this journey is no easy.

end of cny'06

hardly can afford the time to come online.. once a week is considered good enuf.. hahaha
today is the last day of cny.. no more gambling.. no more fooling ard.. mugging starts now!! seriously mug! i swear tat after this year i wun be mugging animore..!!

anyway, jus was the released of O's results.. and super glad to say tat all my frens performed, all cleared.. *applaud*.. esp zx!! omg!! A2 for eng!! u imagine!! genius lah.. den bs is another surprise.. managed a 4,4,5.. tat was surprising.. but he did a gd job this time round.. wateva it is, they deserved all those..!!

talking about studies and results.. this set my mind into recalling smth..
there's basically 2 grps of ppl undergoing edu..
1st grp, the smart ppl.. they dun have to spend most of their time mugging.. as long as they get the hang of it.. they will ace it.. they're often called the geniuses..
as for the 2nd grp, they're the ones who spend most of their time mugging.. often this kinda ppl work super super hard to get their satisfied grades..
i believe i dun belong to either one.. i merely work hard enuf for me to scrape thru.. and this attitude of mine beta stop.

this year is no joke n fooling matter for me.. once i flung it.. i'm as good as dead..
i'm seriously running outta time.. n squash is not doing any good to me.. i dun wanna flung all my tests cos of squash.. squash training is far too time consuming.. i get tired after training.. thereby leaving nth for revision.. this cant go on.. i'm going to stop training once april starts..

darn.. econs lect test tmr.. chem spa on tues.. n v'day is gone.. fly kite!